The importance of a Father

The importance of a Father

Fatherhood and good parenting are important to me.  

My world has been shaped and influenced by men that acting like fathers to me or did not. At this point in my life, I am close to sixty years old.  I have survived a lot.  I have raised successfully two adults.  Of all the things I have done in my life, those are my highlights.  I want to share what worked and what doesn’t with life with as many as I can.

Fifty years ago a father’s word was questioned less.  Men had it easy in some respects.  They didn’t have any cultural responsibility to take care of his children. That responsibility rested with the mother, or mother substitute.  That was not a good way to operate.  

I think it matters and I don’t have a study or research to quote.  I know however that an extremely high number of men in prison and heading that way are there because they didn’t have a dad.  

I think my kids learned by watching me interact with different things.  How dad handled it was processed, sometimes imitated.  I think my kids learned how to regulate their feelings and behaviors. It didn’t end at 12 either.  They needed to see and hear me talk about adult issues too.  I think parents throw their kids out too soon with too many threats available for them to have to fend for themselves.

Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.
There is no question that fathers do play an important part in their children’s lives: the majority of studies affirm that an involved father can play a crucial role, particularly in the cognitive, behavioral, and general health and well-being areas of a child’s life; having a positive male role model helps an adolescent boy develop positive gender-role characteristics; adolescent girls are more likely to form positive opinions of men and are better able to relate to them when parented by an involved father; it is generally accepted, under most circumstances, that a father’s presence and involvement can be as crucial to a child’s healthy development as a mother’s; and experiencing validation of their importance in the general parenting literature has made fathers much more conscious of their value, which, in turn, leads to their greater desire to be involved.

We learn by doing, talking, reading, discovering and a mix of these.  I want to be a conduit for change.  I want to help the men in my circle and yours do better, be better, get a second a chance.

We can talk about your story too as we work through, I’ll deal with issues relating to the absent father, the alienated father, and the divorced father.
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